NEVER GONNA DANCE AGAIN - STAFFORDSHIREST STREET 2024

A performance evening at Staffordshire Street for the exhibition Are The Stones Still Standing Still.
This work explores the entrapment of grief and addiction— the feeling that just as you begin to rise, you inevitably come crashing down again. The trampoline becomes a symbol of these relentless cycles, its bounce mirroring the constant ups and downs and the weight of a sadness that never fully releases its grip. I’m drawn to these loops, these never-ending circles.


 

At the end of my performances, I often create a sculpture or installation from the materials used. It feels as though the work becomes activated in this final moment—almost taking on a magical or alchemical quality, as if something new is conjured into being.

This particular performance is especially close to my heart. It explores the way I navigate the grief of losing my best friend, my soulmate. He made me buy these designer Luicini boots, and the piece becomes a homage to our time together, to queer culture, to club kids, and to the version of myself that existed when he was still here. When someone you love dies, it can feel as though a part of you disappears with them. The boots suspended in the air like puppets embody that ghost—an echo of who I was when we were inseparable.

The NHS gown appears again in this work. He was failed by the system; and I can’t help but think that if he had received the care and support he needed, he might still be here with me today.